I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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