I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
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