woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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