Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
you had me at cake vodka
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
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