I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Randomize
