Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
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