She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
