My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Randomize
