real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
