Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Randomize
