Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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