why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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