CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
