I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
even my farts smell like vagina
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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