when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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