Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Randomize
