I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
