Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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