the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
