I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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