I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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