Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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