They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
