I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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