You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Why are your pants in the freezer?
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
