2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
