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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?

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• (508): View more from Massachusetts

  i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot

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• (607): View more from New York

  There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.

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• (648): View more from

  Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.

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• (319): View more from Iowa

  Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham

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• (616): View more from Michigan

  That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt

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• (845): View more from New York

  I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise

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• (650): View more from California

  I've never known a porn star before

  (650): View more from California

  There's not even an emoji for this

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain

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• (701): View more from North Dakota

  I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.

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