Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
