Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
