Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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