apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
