I just pynch a tree in the face
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
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