how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You ruined the universe
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
