Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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