just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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