Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
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