i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
