O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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