Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Is it penis luge time yet?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
