lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
