Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
