Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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