one word: firstdatebathroomanal
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
