you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
