After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
