I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
