You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
