Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
