i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
