I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
My cat gives me a boner
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
