Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
