so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
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