You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
