What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
