So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
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