iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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