I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
