wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
