Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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