So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
