I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I'm both gender and math confused
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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