Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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