i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Randomize
