that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
you had me at cake vodka
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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