But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
