I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
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