he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
He? As in you personified your dick?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
