just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i dont even know how to be here
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
