that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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