Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
