you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
