she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I need to sanitize my soul.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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