so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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